It's Only Temporary by Lisa Suzanne

Author:Lisa Suzanne [Suzanne, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Books by LS, LLC
Published: 2020-06-03T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 24

Her energy is just...gone.

It’s like she’s broken or something. A deep ache settles into my gut that it’s my fault.

I’m the one who did this to her.

She didn’t mind showing up this morning with Caleb by her side, yet tonight she seems to have toned things down.

A little too much, if I’m being completely honest.

She doesn’t make the loops around the stage she normally does. She doesn’t brush my arm with her tits. She doesn’t walk anywhere near me; in fact, she focuses her attention to Rascal’s side of the stage, and occasionally she turns toward Austin. But mostly she stands and sways to the beat. Her voice is as flawless as ever, but she doesn’t even come close to turning in my direction to make eye contact.

It’s affecting me more than I care to admit.

It’s hitting me deep in my gut, but it’s also hitting me in my mental state. It’s pushing the guilt I feel for even having feelings for her right up to the surface. She seems melancholy, and it’s making me sad, too.

Sierra can have a bad day, but mine can still be good.

But Ruby’s having a bad day, and suddenly my world tilts to the negative degree as well.

And it’s not just affecting my mental state. It’s not just making me feel a little ill.

It’s affecting my performance, too.

The bassist can hide mistakes from the audience, but everyone in the band will know. And their opinion means more to me than the crowd gathered here...Ruby’s, at least, means more.

I try to tell myself it has something to do with Sierra’s words just before she left, but I know that’s not the truth. It has far more to do with the fact that Ruby hasn’t turned in my direction for the entire ninety-six minutes we’ve been on stage. I haven’t been able to meet her eyes with mine, haven’t been able to do that silent conversation across the stage I didn’t even know we did until I missed out on it.

I haven’t been able to gauge her real feelings inside from the expressions I know so well on her face—the crinkles in her eyes when she’s happy or the way her face seems to get a little longer when she’s sad or the way her eyebrows dart up when she’s surprised or the way she lights up when she’s excited.

And it’s in realizing all those minute details that I find I know her a lot better than I thought I did.

I guess I know those things about Sierra, too, but I’ve never pinpointed them. I’ve never dreamed about them.

I’ve never felt the pulsing ache to learn more of them and to hold them close by my side over every other thing.

Over every other thing.

I need to talk to Sierra. Tomorrow we have that summer festival in the late afternoon, but I could drive down to San Diego after that and be back in LA Sunday in time for practice.

Yet as I look at the dark

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